Austerity in India!

No one does it like us Indians. Whether it be blessing our streets with our bodily fluids or bringing the nations infrastructure to a grinding halt just because few pilots got their expected salary but not the optional incentives. But thats not what this post is about. Its about Austerity.

I believe our politicians deserve to live in royalty. They shouldn't be flying in First Class. We should give them Choppers or Private Planes. BSNL should provide them with a dedicated network. They should be given all the food they can eat. They all should be sent to 5 star Gyms Why? So that people like me can get to our day to day live without being harassed and humiliated.

I have experienced people like Kalam and Atal Behari Vajpayee during their terms in office, gallivanting though my neighborhood. Its terrible, coz we have to stop all our work, we are not allowed to cross the barricaded streets,  while driving -we have to stop for half an hour till the VVVIPs pass by. 

They should be sent to the GYM so they have the stamina to work and travel all day.

They should be feed well, so that their lifespan gets shorter in oder to allow younger generation to take their space.

Austerity is being used by politicians as a tool for publicity because we, the cattle that we are, just stand around chewing what comes on the news papers without questioning. Another animal would have spit it out.

We cant blame the politician for these stunts. They are just a reflection of our fascination and today out fascination is not global warming, is not the extinction of tigers, is not swine flu, is not people dying of hunger or falling chimneys build by multi-million dollor companies, is not the possibility of another mumbai like attacks. Our fascination is a bunch of wise fools pretending to imitate another bunch of wiser fools hoping the real fools are going to vote for them (which they are).

If U think what Im implying is wrong, all i can say is keep sleeping!

How to Tell a Lie and make it Believeable

No one ever has a problem telling a lie. Lies have been an integral part of every species. If you dont believe me then think about this, Isnt camouflage a lie. If you have a dog and it does something wrong, you might have observed it behaving like nothing every happened. The commonly do this when they sit on the sofa when you are not around but the moment you open the door they jump and crawl underneath. If not for the fur stuck to the sofa, you would never suspect anything.

Humans got bad at telling lies when they started speaking. The response of their body and that of their speech dont match. Those who do are good liars. So how do you become a good liar? By expressing it like as if it were true. Note i said express and not just speak. Here are the steps:

1) Think of the original situation ie think of the truth which you will be replacing with a lie. Remember the place it happened, who were there, who you spoke to, what you heard, what you felt what you smelt etc etc. There are the different variables in your truthful memory with the false memory

2) Now replace, in that memory, each variable with that of the lie. If some one was there and you want to deny he or she was there, remove her out of the memory and either replace it with someone else or something else. Now go through the memory again. If you feel there are any blanks fill them up with something. Go through it again and again

3) Do step 2 for every thing in that situation you have to lie about. Imaging what you would have felt if the lie had to be actually the truth

4) If you done it correctly, you have created a new memory in yourself and your brain wont be able to distinguish between the truth and the false. You may even pass a polygraph

5) Now call the people you inserted in your new memory and tell them what they must say or do to maintain the consistency in your story. Do this with all other people and objects you've removed or added.

If you do step 4, you probable wont have to use anyone else to prove your story because the emotions on your face and body will make your story believable

Successful Employees will make you a Successful Employer

The question that pops in the minds of the employers or HRs today are, how do we retain employees? The recession has prevented people from job hopping this year but make no mistake, employees and all gearing up to exit your company. Those who aren't simply want security and are too afraid. But they are unhappy none-the-less. And that brings  be to the question that you folks should be asking yourself...

How do we help make our employees successful?

Mind you, this is totally different how do we make successful employees. You create successful employees by raising salaries, offering perks, fancy offices etc. But inorder to make employees successful you have to look for inspiration in the worlds largest organisation. I'm not talking about Microsoft or TATA, I am talking about religious institutions. What you are about to read is all done by religious institutions like the Catholic Church, Protestants, Temples etc

As a company in which your employees will spend half their non-sleeping part of a day, you are supposed to know the problems that employees have to deal with. Most of these are conflict of values. For example, if you ask someone to work extra hours without paying overtime wages there is a conflict of values and beliefs. You believe that since you are providing him job security he has to do what you say and that conflicts with his beliefs that if he has to spend time away from his family for you, he has to be compensated adequately.

The most common complaint I receive from genuinely honest and hard working employees that they don't have enough time. Yes, the dreaded To-Do list. I ask them, If I help you make time, what are you going to do in that time. The answer is obvious, to the rest of the To-DOs or add some more tasks to the To-Do list. The list never ends.

One of the goals of every organisation should be how do we make our employees financially free. In other words, what do we have to do to give our employees the knowledge to generate a monthly passive income which is higher than they monthly expenditure. This may sound weird but its not.

We seem to be stuck with the Master-Slave mentality from centuries ago when the slave is entirely dependent on the master for his or her livelihood. If more money is required the slave has to work for other masters, maybe even multiple masters simultaniously. The slave blame their masters for their misery even though they have the capacity to earn wealth.

Bottom line- the salary you pay is never enough. Help them use the money you pay them to be financially free. That way they dont have to worry about their bills, installments and others expenses during office hours.

 

Miss India Ekta Chaudhary Fails in Miss Universe

Miss Ekta Chaudhary didnt even qualify in the top 15 of the Miss Universe Pageant. I dont blame her. I knew this would happen. How?

Well, first of all-look at her. She look like a character from indian hindi soaps. Specially the ones who are against the lead character/victim. She looks bad. How could the judges even consider her for Miss India. I dont know what the Miss India judges saw live on stage but through my TV set all i could see was disproportionate facial features.

I think we have to select Miss India Judges carefully. There should be one Miss India Judges pageant.

To me the formula is simple. Forget the beauty-brains balance that we look out for in Miss India. Just select the hottest, cutest, sexiest most gorgeous girl the you can find. Once she wins Miss India, but her through a brain bootcamp and make her intelligent. We cant improve on beauty but brains can be improved. After all, look at our previous Miss Indias' who've won international pageants. 

Learn To Draw - Tips and Tricks

For those who think they cant draw, think again. Some of your worst stuff maybe masterpieces. If you want to learn to draw, which i believe you should here is a good place to start. Its where I had started out

http://drawsketch.about.com/od/learntodraw/u/learn-to-draw.htm

Check this site out too

http://www.karmatoons.com/drawing/drawing.htm

This is a cool blog with some tips and tricks

http://pirateproductiontoons.blogspot.com/2007/04/drawing-poses-and-character-design-tips.html

Indias' Game of Blood

It can happen only in India. On the one side of India there are MLA politicians forcing school children to donate blood on the day of a dead guys anniversary. On the other hand we have a group suppling all the hospitals in the city of Lucknow with blood that was not tested for HIV or any other disease and get this; adulterated with animal blood. There have to be doctors and politicians involved in this racket.

If this were to happen ever in the US, Im sure the people involved would never see the light of day ever again.. Too bad this is not the US and in a land of a billion people, its amazing to see the number of innovative ways people make money.

Entrepreneurship and Patriotism at its best, where food, wine, fuel and now even blood is adulterated.

Interview with Tony Robbins, Frank Kern and John Reese

When three legends ie Anthony Robbins, Frank Kern and John Reese have a conversation, what happens to us is Inspiration.

FYI Tony is the best personal coach in the world and Frank and John made a million bucks in a day over the net,

http://tonyrobbinstraining.com/320/interview-with-frank-kern-and-john-reese/

BJP lists its reasons for Lok Sabha poll loss

• Is it just me, but the main reason that i think BJP lost the election was the frequent walkouts during parliament sessions instead of having productive debates. I don't mind, I support manmohan.

  But for your reference here are the details.

  At a closed-door meeting, a three-member committee led by party leader Bal Apte presented its report on the Lok Sabha debacle. Senior party leader Arun Jaitley though denied that such a report existed. The main reasons listed for the party's defeat were:

  • Lack of unity among party leaders.

  • Failure to connect with youth.

  BJP failed to corner the Congress on 26/11. Instead the party let the Congress and the media divert the issue and bring in to Kandhar issue.

• Party's election slogans failed.

• Varun Gandhi's hate speech also led to BJP debacle.

• Projection of Narendra Modi as the future prime minister damaged the party's prospects.

• Campaign should have been more meticulous, synchronised and effective.

• Personal attack on Manmohan Singh did not go well with people.

• In Punjab the alliance partner's attitude affected the performance of National Democratic Alliance.

• In Delhi the BJP lost the game even before it was played.

• In Haryana party failed to assess the popular mood.

• Break up of alliance in Orissa at the 11th hour left the party unawares.

H1N1: The lesson never learnt!

H1N1 is a pandemic. Whoohoo! as homer simpson would say. After all we have brought this on ourselves. India is facing huge social and economical crises because of this. 

Weren't we warned by nature before? We brought foriegn plants as decorations and now have become a menacing weed in our ecology. Plants like water hyacinth dont have enemies here which maintain ecological balance. There have been an invasion of insects and animals that feed on the domestic counterparts bringing in diseases and disrupting the ecological balance.

Human race are a bunch of morons. Its amazing they survived for so many decades. One would think that when there is a serious outbreak like the H1N1, every country would stop travel. One would think that even if people had to travel, they would be put in holding areas to check them for sighs of the virus. But alas (all ass) we never learn. 

Does anyone realize that this is another way to wage jihad? A suicide bomber, when strapped with bombs, can kill around 100 people. He also has a good chance of getting caught as bombs these days are easily available. Imaging they send someone infected with a virus and all he has to do is sneeze on people. And there u have it,global pandemic.

The argument is that countries will face financial crises if people are not allowed to travel. But is it better than half the population being wiped out. Besides haven't those people heard of the internet and conference calling. 

What we did is prove that we are too shortsighted in our policies and restraint is an alien concept. We proved that we are too childish to deserve the next millennia. Its all up to a bunch of scientists to save the human race from H1N1 and other such diseases... Diseases that never should have been to begin with. 

Cry Fowl over Slumdog

Ive just recieved this mail as a forward. It talks about the fact that
US and other citizens started calling indians slumdogs and mumbai a
slum. Aadesh Srivastava was embarrassed by it.

Before you read the mail, i have to comment on it. First of all, we
indians are the one who do all the namecalling. We use mallus, gantis,
guggus, hippis (for any foriegners), biharis etc. as insults.Second,
mumbai is a slum. We are not proud of it but comparied to any other
commercial city in the world, mumbai is a mess. The smells, the
sounds, the sights all could ruin your day if you are not used to it.
The good thing is that I hope, as a result of bad publicity, they
decide to clean the city up rather than burn effigies of danny boyle
and criticise other on national newspapers.

Mr. Aadesh Srivastava, is it so easy for you to feel embarrased if
someone calls you a slumdog? If yes, all this while you should have
also been embarrassed of the filth in our cities and spoken about it
on news papers before. It looks like you find it easy piggybacking on
AR Rehmans success thanks to slumdog millionarre and undermining his
eithics for doing a film that makes india look like a slum.

In any way, this is hollywood - which shows russia as a land of
nuclear weapons, mexico as a land of drunkards high on takila, africa
as a land of slaves, japan as a land of little people jumping around
their cities, mars as a land of little green men... i could go on. My
point is just enjoy the movie and remember it till the next one hits
the theater.

This the article i was talking about:
They've started calling Indians 'slumdogs': Aadesh Srivastava

Mumbai, Feb 20 (IANS) Bollywood composer Aadesh Srivastava says he is
embarrassed to walk on the streets of the US after Oscar-nominated
'Slumdog Millionaire' because 'they have started calling Indians
slumdogs'.

'I'm so upset. They've started calling Indians 'slumdogs', just like
'coolie' was a 'slang' in Britain. Now in the US I feel slumdog is a
'gaali' (slang) for Indians. Mumbai has given me everything,'
Srivastava told.

'To see the city being shown as a place of dirt, filth and crime only
is very humiliating. Even I can make a film on child prostitution and
paedophilia. But it won't get Oscars because I am not a 'gora'
(white),' added the composer.

Based on Indian diplomat Vikas Swarup's novel 'Q & A', 'Slumdog
Millionaire' is about an impoverished teaboy who wins a quiz show.
Directed by British director Danny Boyle, the story is set in the
slums of Mumbai. While Anil Kapoor, Freida Pinto and NRI Dev Patel
played main leads, A.R. Rahman composed the music for the movie. It
has got 10 Oscar nominations, out of which three are for Rahman.

The film was lauded in the West, but it has been criticised by some in
India for showing its ugly side by concentrating on grinding poverty.

'What right does the director have to show Mumbai as a slum? Now we
are considered a slum city in all parts of the world. Humlog kahin
mooh dikhane laayak nahin rahe (we're unable to show our face
anywhere),' said Srivastava, who watched the movie in Los Angeles this
week.

Srivastava applauds fellow composer Rahman's music in the movie, but
says he'd never be part of a film that makes India look like a slum.

'I'm so upset. It's a disgusting movie. Being an Indian it was doubly
humiliating to be watching the film with Americans. Even if Steven
Spielberg asked me to compose music for a film that makes fun of
India, I won't do it,' he said.

Being a diehard Amitabh Bachchan fan, Srivastava is appalled by the
way the Big B is shown in the film.

'I puked when I saw that kid smeared in shit asking for Bachchan
saab's autograph. What the f...k was that? Does Danny Boyle know what
Bachchan saab means to us Indians? Who would dare approach him like
that?

'We applaud people who come to our city and spit in our faces!' he said.